I'll like to speak for those of us who unapologetically scout for eye candies at weddings. I am not referring to just any type, I'm talking about those candies that come all wrapped up in well tailored agbadas and later end up looking all shades of juicy and dapper in well fitted suits, those candies usually seen standing behind the already taken candy. Candies also known as The Gang.
Let's clear the air about who these candies in human form really are before delving into some of the factors that should be considered when choosing the pack. A groomsman is a young man (or woman) who acts as a friend and attendant to the bridegroom at a wedding. The groomsman either acts alone (best man) or as one of a company.
While there are no laid down rules stating the highest or minimum number of close friends or relatives a groom should have as groomsmen, cramming all your friends in could appear tacky. With all humility, I've come up with filters that can be applied to help sieve through the process of who's in and who's not.
I dotters and T crossers
Your wedding is probably the most nerve-racking day of your life (the nail-biting is not exclusive to the bride). You certainly don't want friends who can't read between the lines and take the initiative, or one who gives you a 2,500 when all you need at that moment is a 0.8, featuring on that list. Your groomsmen should be carefully selected to include friends and relatives who understand your personality to bits- knowing just the right time to speak, move things around, boost your morale, offer you that much needed drink and yes, get goofy too. The least you should have to worry about is that friend C who has a little too much affinity for alcohol.
In a nutshell, surround yourself with people you feel absolutely comfortable being around with.
Chips and Bucks
The role of a groomsman strings along financial commitment – cost of outfits, bachelor party, gifts, etc. Acknowledging and not shying away from the fact that your friends will be required to spend towards the success of your wedding goes a long way in helping to cut short your long list of prospective groomsmen. The truth is that not all your friends can afford to splurge on a Yomi Casual traditional apparel, a Mai Atafo suit and a Louboutin footwear.
While being a groomsman is an honour, you should respect people's decision whenever they politely decline the offer, especially when it concerns money matters.
So, you have that one friend who is not moneyed, but, you can't help but have as one of your right-hand men as you experience your "here comes the bride, all dressed in white" moment, well, except you're willing to foot the bill for that friend, you should love him (or her) enough to not let your big day serve as a financial burden.
Availability, Willingness, Punctuality and Reliability
These are some of the right reasons to consider as you filter through your friends list. For the sake of clarity, the role of a groomsman (as fun as it may appear in pictures) is saddled with responsibilities that include (but not limited to) planning and organising the bachelor party, running errands, making those last minute runs, dancing with the single female guests at the wedding party, etc. You wouldn't want to come off as inconsiderate if you still go ahead with including that your dawn-to-dusk workaholic friend who barely has time for himself.
I dare not forget the wrong reasons; they range from outright ridiculous to side-splitting comical. From having a particular skin tone (nude-beige skinned to caramel coloured skin tones), of a particular height and build, British accent, photogenic, funny, affluent and out of obligation. While some of these reasons matter, however, they should not be considered in isolation during the selection process.
As tempting as it may be to randomly select friends and relatives, giving in to the temptation could end up being a disaster waiting to happen. Take out time to request and not impose the duties and responsibilities of the groomsman on your friends. Never assume they are up for the task.
More importantly, learn to accept their "no" for what it is without thinking of them as any less of a friend.
Image via Black Hairstyle
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