So after I quit my job, I submitted my CV to a consulting firm while I weighed my options as to what to do with my life. My shock was as real as yours when I was called exactly eight days after to come for an interview with an international body. For starters, I didn't think recruitment consulting firms could be that efficient but big Kudos to
this one.
As I prepared myself for the interview, I was called in by the firm to attend a mock interview which was a prerequisite for the candidates they send forth. This mock interview was some kind of expo because they tend to ask you questions the recruiting company would likely ask. So in a way, you were being prepared for what was to come.
So I gingered myself, dressed up like a bahd chic that I am and went to make a good first impression. There were two male interviewers in the room. From their looks, I could tell one was in his mid-fifties while the other was in his thirties. For the sake of this post, we would call the older man Festus and the other, Wilberforce. Things were actually moving along quite nicely as the interviewers asked questions my CV already gave them answers to. I answered them with my best face on and as clearly as possible. In fact I noticed that the interviewers were warming up to me quicker than normal and I chalked it down as my luck. As they delved into other questions, the interview became real.
One of those questions was when Mr. Festus asked how I would deal with sexual harassment from my superior. "If my boss made passes at me, I would turn him down while clearly telling him I wasn't interested. If I find the work environment uncomfortable due to his harassment or I feel physically threatened, then I would report him to a superior. The worst case scenario would instantly require me to quit my job." I replied before smiling sweetly.
Truthfully, in my mind, I felt that I had answered the question to the best of my ability. In actuality, I would fire prayer upon the guy's head in addition to telling him off but I know how inputting your religious stance in an interview can be perceived wrongly. Prior to this time, I noticed Wilberforce nodding his head to many of the answers I had given earlier, which made me believe I was on the right track but after this particular answer, I noticed both Wilberforce and Festus shaking their heads in pity.
The deafening silence that followed my answer was enough to tell me I had said something they both did not agree to. Not knowing what to do, I continued to fake smile as my cheek hurt while listening to the stupid creaking fan in the room I had barely noticed.
And then Mr. Festus smiled at me before telling me with his thick Igbo accent. "See ehn, I already like your person and how you compose yaself and that is why I am going to tell you the best way to handle such a situation. If you ever find yaself in that kind of problem, simply play along."
GHEN GHEN!!
My ears were ringing from the utter ridiculousness I just heard. Play along? With who? How?
Now I won't lie to you, I dey quick para when someone older than me spews rubbish from their mouth but in this case, since na interview, I took in a deep breath before I asked, "play along how? Please I do not understand."
Wilberforce was first to answer. "So are you telling me that you will resign from any company that will employ you because your boss made advances at you? Haa! In that case you won't be able to keep a job oh! You go dey change work like water!" he said mockingly.
Oh…kay? I was still confused. I didn't know I was hot enough to make EVERY man become a sexual offender. I was already boiling. But I looked at Mr Festus for further explanations to his "play-along" advice. "My dear, when I mean play along I am not telling you to sleep with the man. I am just saying you should be able to lead him on without giving him the koko. You won't categorically tell him no but you won't tell him yes either. From time to time you can remind him of his status by asking him about his wife and kids in the presence of everyone. See ehn, eventually you will be surprised he would laugh his advances off because he would have gotten your scope", he finished.
Chai! Really?
I wanted to ask dear Mr. Festus what to do if my boss was single before he added "answer me this simple question biko. Is it my fault that you are beautiful and you threw your beauty in my face by using makeup and wearing fine clothes?"
SHUO?! Make I wear craze man cloth dey waka? I shook my head. "Then my dear, I don't believe any woman can be raped unless they didn't allow it to happen."
HIAN!
The foolish man went on to announce how his wife puts on layers of underwear before wearing her actual clothes and how he felt it was utterly impossible for a man to pull everything just to get the cookie.
I was really vexed now!
"So sir, are you insinuating that all girls that have been raped allowed themselves be raped or are you simply stating that we should all wear the same layers of underwear like your wife to be safe?" I asked sarcastically.
"Yes o! Except in cases where the woman was raped under duress with a weapon which I believe is rare in office settings. Even sef, I still state that she allowed it in her own way." As I sat there in utter bewilderment, Wilberforce asked a question that informed the motive for writing this post.
"Looking at yourself now, with your height and body build, can you be raped?" Now apart from the Christian in me that screamed a prompt "God forbid", I asked myself if it was possible if anyone could ever answer this question.
As I pondered more on this question, I realised that even rape victims may have answered in the negative as I did but the truth is that they were still raped and I seriously doubt that it had anything to do with the layers of underwear they wore or the lack of it! The unfortunate part of this whole mess is the fact that there are people like Wilberforce and Festus who think every woman is not a potential target and can't be raped unless she allows it because they believe she should have Wonderwoman strength and pants!
No girl or woman wants anyone settling in between her legs without her consent! Simple!! We need to get to that stage where victim blaming is old school. Let's move from just talking about rape, whose fault it is to how to curb it. Ladies, constantly ask yourself if you are protecting yourselves well enough. If no, please make an effort. Learn self-defence, carry pepper spray, holy or (juju) water, but please be mindful. I personally know parts of the human body where a punch well delivered to such areas will make one drop to his knees in seconds. You should too!
And finally, a quick question for everyone should I still let the consulting firm help me get a job since I won't be working directly under Mr. Festus? Please epp me!
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