WHY DO EXES PICK THE WORST TIMES TO ATTEMPT COMEBACKS?

Ever noticed how the New Year makes you feel like a butterfly? It's like you are past all that ugliness: your mistakes and oopses from the previous year; the whole "new year, new me" BS. Your new year resolutions are ready, your head is cleared up from the holidays (for  those of us that do get holidays) and if you crossed-over in church—not in club or parry or bae's arms—that rejuvenation of the Holy Ghost is still fresh.


So there I was, on my couch reading Joyce Meyer's Seven Things That Steal Your Joy" (Because I crossed over to take over and I don't need no joy stealing) when my phone rang. The unidentified caller was my ex-almost-boyfriend (the kind that after 3 weeks of "seeing how things go", you realize that the only thing you are attracted to is his Russian). He called to check on me and wish me Happy New Year. Also, he's back in the country and just got a job in my city, he misses me and would like for us to see.


After deleting his number and blocking him on everywhere, I thought I had left the oga in 2015 but alas, here he is, in Abuja wanting to meet. I know I won't meet him sha, when he activates his sexy, he can be downright irresistible and it's just too early to break New Year resolutions. But what's the deal though? Months after a break up, these exes jump out of the blue and suddenly realize they miss you and that you are the best person they've ever met. They want to check on you, hang out and talk about "old times"… they even go as low as asking about your parents (like stay away from my family! Traitor!)

I can't help but wonder, what is it with comeback exes? I don't know how other people function, but for me, once we're broken up, I'm not your friend, I'm not fam, I'm your ex. Don't call me unless it's an emergency, don't come to me with your girl problems. And most of all, don't try to make a comeback!

A friend of mine believes it has to do with the time of year, mostly during the holidays, especially when people have been doing some soul searching and realize: I can't live without her, or when they see their friends loving-up and need to make the loneliness go away… or simply need to tap that one more time.


I am of the opinion though, that once you are in that happy place, I mean really truly happy, the witches from your village will alert all the demons from your past that can cause your downfall and they just start appearing. How else can you explain that ex-almost-boyfriend did not want to see me 6 months ago when I was bored and suffering from post-birthday depression? He waited  till I was on date no 3 with prospective-bae to "miss me". It's witchery I tell you.


So what do you think about comeback exes and their timing? Of course, this applies to ladies and gentlemen.

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